“I have done other things that rebel against those ideas, but I believe as a philosophy that it is important to contradict yourself.”
‘We certainly need some way of speaking about that which we do not know’ – A.P
One of the difficulties I come across in my practice is that in my working with chaos, free association, finding the links between many things that interest me (rather than state that I know what I am doing all the time), I am often perceived as having a lack of clarity. This is especially frustrating when it comes from fellow artists. I am a fan of change, of chaos, of things falling apart, of incoherence, of doubt, of intuitive processes calling up learned material, of the reorganisation of ‘energies’, of discoveries in the dismissed, of play and so on, in order that I might discover something! This is not the same as a lack of clarity. And as the British Essayist and Psychoanalyst Adam Phillips puts it rather nicely – “States of conviction conceal the sense in which we are continually making our mind up.”
I have stacks of written research in files, as well as drawings, text work, collage and paintings etc dating back to the 1990’s in which I am looking at space, the microcosm and the macrocosm, chaos and order, physics, math, music, natural form, architecture, the politics of space, hygiene and sanity, internal and external psychological space, perception, psyche, the unconscious, language, psychoanalysis, Freud, Lacan and on it goes – interrelations.
‘I think the problem is living in a culture that’s hypnotised by explanation’ – A.P
I also have experienced many comments on my use of colour as being something that is reflecting some kind of inner emotional situation when very often I am exploring colour as a visual idea rather than using my art as some kind of therapy. The personality of the artist is perhaps not important- the idea of an artist as self revealing when perhaps really acutely and deeply hidden from others and even utterly unrevealed and unknown to herself or his self. The myths, the distorted narratives of lives created to feed a consuming desire removes us from the work in hand.
One concern of mine is the problem of explanation, of talking about experience – verbal language. Also of the qualitative and quantitative, intellectual logic and emotional logic, the rational and the irrational, subjective and objective or the different sides to things. I am interested in a kind of duality that is necessary to make a whole complete. Duality or a ‘co-operation of opposites’ for me is vital and gives rise to life.
‘Aboutness is what everything’s about and that’s very reductive’ – A.P
I’m also aware that not wanting (to explain, to be part of a particular kind of statement world) oddly calls that which is unwanted up into existence!.. And often even more powerfully. I need what I disagree with. It gives me something.